Fighting for Our Friendships

April 1, 2024
A "friendship coach" explains how women can foster healthier, meaningful platonic relationships. When Jackson was a high school teacher, she witnessed teenage girls continually making and losing friends, and she remarks on the "hurt and confusion" it engendered. "Navigating relationships with other women can feel like a land mine," writes the author, noting that her abiding interest in these dynamics came as something of a surprise to her: "Becoming a friendship coach wasn't exactly on my vision board." Still, after another career as a publicist, a conversation with a client sparked something in Jackson, and she set off to "study what the latest research has to say about women's conflict, communication, and cooperation." In her debut book, the author unpacks what makes female friendship so "complicated" and offers a handbook of practical tips on how to approach various roadblocks. In the first part, Jackson discusses the mechanics of female friendship, noting that research shows that women's friendships are "more fragile" but "deeper" than men's. Women "extend less leniency, have less resilience, and perceive more violations in their friendships." Because of this, the author cautions, it's important to know how to address conflict--avoiding it is unrealistic. In Part 2, Jackson walks readers through different potentially problematic friend types ("The Flaky Friend," "The Love-Obsessed Friend," "The Clingy Friend," and "The Friend Who Doesn't Reciprocate"), illustrating each type with a real scenario and scripts and strategies readers can use to approach these women with "compassion and perspective," but also respect for their own boundaries. Jackson is a warm and chatty writer, narrating anecdotes from her own friendships (and friendship foibles) that readers will enjoy. The book is a welcome addition to the self-improvement genre, covering a topic that feels relatively unexplored thus far. A personable and practical guide to negotiating female friendships.

COPYRIGHT(2024) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

May 15, 2024
Why are women's friendships so complicated? Men can nod at each other, have a drink, and take off without hurt feelings. Women, on the other hand, agonize over slights, unkind words, and forgotten appointments. Jackson, a friendship coach and podcaster (Friend Forward) seeks answers to why women's friendships seem to be deeper yet more fragile than men's. Jackson spends some time debating the origins, powers, and drawbacks of female friendships. In the most enlightening part of the book, the author analyzes nine types of friends: flaky, non-reciprocating, gossipy, love-obsessed, controlling, jealous, changed, clingy, and negative. In each case, Jackson lists the identifying signs, offers perspectives on the friend's actions, gives suggestions on ways to respond, and outlines how to let go of these relationships. Equally interesting, she encourages the reader to consider where she falls in this grouping. If ending the friendship is needed, Jackson gives pointers on making it less painful. Finding new friends, especially beyond school days, can be difficult, and Jackson discusses strategies. Readers will be encouraged to examine and appreciate their own relationships.

COPYRIGHT(2024) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

July 12, 2024

Jackson began her career as a high school teacher and often spent time counseling her young women students about problems they were having with their friends. She then moved on to working in public relations and realized that her adult women clients often had similar worries about their friendships. Eventually, she started working as a friendship coach specifically for women, and she wrote this book to share her knowledge. Jackson uses information gathered from psychological studies, along with her own experiences and those of her clients, to illustrate her points. The book has three main parts. In the first, Jackson discusses what brings friends together and what can tear them apart. In the second, she offers suggestions and scripts to help with common conflicts. In the final section, she talks about starting over after a serious conflict and also how to end a friendship without bitterness. Each chapter has questions at the end for readers to consider. VERDICT After the isolation of the pandemic, many people want help making personal connections. This is a solid addition to self-help or psychology collections everywhere.

Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.